Stunt
by miznik
Summary: Byron and Jeff's life together. 12 Ficlets using the titles of the Barenaked Ladies' CD, Stunt. Please R&R. I crave feedback on this one, as it's different than anything I've done. Warning: slash


_A/N: I've been on a Barenaked Ladies kick recently. So I challenged myself to write a little drabble (or ficlet, whatever you like to call 'em) regarding my favorite BSC boys, Byron and Jeff, using the titles of the songs from BNL's CD - Stunt. And here's the result. It's a little disjointed, going in non-chronological order. But I put a note at the beginning of each drabble, explaining where the boys are in their lives. _

_Please please please, read and review. This is pretty different for me, and I really crave feedback, good or bad. Thanks! _

_Disclaimer: As always, I don't own these characters. I make no money from playing with them. _

_Rating: most ficlets are G-PG. Though two are fairly M in nature. It's all slash. You've been warned about that. _

**One Week**

_A/N - Our boys are eighteen and Seniors in High School._

"Byron, it's just for one week," Jeff said, trying to sound more patient than he felt.

"I know," Byron said miserably, "But I'm going to miss you."

Jeff leaned in to him, lips grazing over Byron's ever so slightly, causing Byron to take a quick sharp breath. "I'll be back a week from tomorrow and we can catch up."

Byron nodded, giving in to his arousal and kissing Jeff hard. He needed to leave Jeff with something to remember, give him some reason to come back.

Because how could Byron explain to Jeff, that he knew Jeff belonged in California? That every time it snowed in Connecticut, he saw Jeff's face fall a little. He felt Jeff dig himself deeper into a depression that wouldn't fully lift until the first truly spring day.

Every time Jeff left for California, and a week at spring break was no exception, Byron dreaded getting a phone call that Jeff had decided to stay in California. And really, Byron wouldn't have blamed him and never knew why Jeff kept coming home.

And how could Jeff explain that he knew exactly what Byron was thinking? He couldn't very well say that Byron is worth all the snow in the world to him. No, that's too corny to say to your boyfriend.

**It's All Been Done**

_A/N - The boys are ten. Jeff just moved to Stoneybrook_

Jeff was being drug all over town by his mother. He was wearing a brand new winter

coat. The immediate need for a coat was so great, that it hadn't even been washed yet. Jeff hated wearing clothes that weren't washed first. He had visions of bugs and rats in the factory where the jacket was made, making his skin feel itchy. Besides which, the very need of a winter jacket seemed ridiculous to Jeff, who'd never felt the cold of a New England winter.

"Mom," he whined. "Can't I go to the comic book store? I saw it on the other side of the shopping center."

"Hmmm?" His mom asked absent-mindedly. She looked up from the boxes of crackers whose prices she had been comparing. "There's a comic book store?"

"Yes," Jeff was quickly feeling impatient with his mother. "The last store in the shopping center. I pointed it out to you."

"OK," his mom gave in, Jeff knowing she was giving in only because she still felt guilty about putting her kids through a painful divorce which had followed and even more painful marriage. "But stay in the store. I'll be there in less than a half hour."

Jeff turned and ran. At the front of the store, looking over the candy counter, he saw a boy about his own age. The boy turned and looked at Jeff critically, but didn't say anything. Jeff noted the well-worn winter coat, the brown hair and blue eyes and wondered if he would see this boy in his fifth grade class at Stoneybrook Elementary tomorrow.

Jeff didn't say anything, but ran out the store into the brisk air. Despite the visions of rats and bugs making Jeff itchy, he quickly felt the need to pull his coat closer to him and put the hood up. As Jeff was walked toward the comic book store, he saw another boy wrapped up in a coat, trying valiantly to skateboard down a few concrete steps. As Jeff passed this boy, he did a double take. It was the same boy who he had just seen at the candy counter. Jeff looked startled and the boy looked up at him.

"What?" the boy asked Jeff rudely.

"Nothing," Jeff mumbled, walking away with his head bent down. How did that kid do it? How was he at the candy counter then suddenly outside on a skateboard?

Jeff got to the comic book store and walked inside. He looked around with relief. He could tell this was going to quickly become his favorite place in Stoneybrook. He scanned the shelves, quickly losing himself in the vast comic collection. As he took a step back to check out some comics on a spinning rack, Jeff bumped into another boy, about his own age.

"Sorry," Jeff said quickly. He looked up at the boy, and was shocked to see the exact same brown hair, blue eyes and smattering of freckles that he'd seen on the boy at the candy counter and the skateboarding boy.

Chills went down Jeff's back, as he began to feel like he was in some kind of horror movie.

"How did you do it?" he whispered to the boy.

The boy looked confused, "Do what?"

"Get from the drug store to here so quickly!"The boy looked blank. So Jeff continued, "I saw you at the candy counter. Then I saw you on a skateboard. Now I'm seeing you here."

"Oh," the boy said. "Those were my brothers. We're triplets."

"Really? You're a triplet?" Jeff asked. He was fascinated.

"Yeah," the boy said. Jeff wanted to ask more about that, but the sad look that suddenly came over the boy made him think twice.

"I'm Jeff," Jeff introduced himself. "I just moved here."

"Oh!" the boy sounded surprised. "I'm Byron. Those other two guys were my brothers, Jordan and Adam."

"Don't they like comics?" Jeff asked.

Byron shrugged, "Not as much as I do."

Jeff and Byron began a conversation about comics, which would last until Jeff's mom came in to the store nearly forty-five minutes later. When she saw her son, so scared and sad and angry for the last few tumultuous months, sharing a completely comfortable moment with another little boy, she hung back, happy to let them finish their conversation. When it became clear that the conversation would likely never end, she gently told Jeff they had to go. And Jeff smiled as he said goodbye to Byron, the first truly happy, eye-crinkling smile Sharon had seen her son give anyone in months.

**Light Up My Room**

_A/N: The boys are fifteen years old._

Byron was thinking recently. He was _always_ thinking, it seemed. But he couldn't stop and he couldn't turn his brain off. He tried wearing a rubber band around his wrist, snapping it every time he had a thought that he'd be way to uncomfortable letting anyone else know. But it didn't work.

The thoughts of Jeff were just too strong.

And it wasn't just the thoughts about Jeff with his shirt off, or the thoughts about what it'd be like to kiss Jeff, or run his fingers through that white-blond hair, or have Jeff kissing him back. Those thoughts were bad enough, and made Byron completely unhappy with himself.

It was the thought that when Jeff walked into a room, that the whole room seemed to be a little bit brighter. That Jeff just about radiated. That Jeff was like the sun itself, giving off light and warmth.

Those were the thoughts that made Byron really uncomfortable. Because when Jeff was around, he could avoid kissing him. But he couldn't avoid instinctively turning his face toward Jeff, just like he would toward the sun on a warm summer's morning.

**I'll be that Girl**

_A/N: The boys are sophomores in college_

"It's October 29th," Jeff announced one fall day while he and Byron were in the dining hall.

"So?" Byron asked

"So what're you going to be for halloween?" Jeff demanded.

"Nothing," Byron rolled his eyes. "We're twenty, not ten anymore."

Jeff waved his hand dismissively. "I have an idea for you."

"What do you think I should be?"

"Straight."

Byron choked on his chicken salad sandwich. "What?!?!" he asked.

"You be straight, and I'll be that girl," Jeff said pulling a blonde wig out of his backpack.

Byron stared at the wig, then looked at Jeff critically. Certainly with his blond hair, blue eyes and lean frame, Jeff could probably pull it off.

Byron smiled, "I like it."

**Leave**

_A/N: The boys are in their late twenties and living together._

"You do this every time," Jeff accused Byron.

"Do what?"

"Every time we have plans to go out. You have to work late."

"That's not true. I work late nearly _every_ night, whether we have plans or not."

"So when does that leave time for me?"

"Weekends."

"What're you doing this weekend?" Jeff demanded.

Byron blushed. "Working," he mumbled. Jeff turned on his heel and stalked to the bedroom. "Jeff!" he called after him. "It's just until this trial is over. I'll have more time then."

"There's always going to be another trial, isn't there?"

"Well, yeah," and when Jeff frowned, Byron added "Just because I'm the newest associate. When I've been there a while, they'll give me a little breathing room."

"How about the Christmas party?" Jeff asked.

"What about it?"

"Can I go with you this year?"

Byron blushed again, deeper this time. "The partners are old guys, they're old fashioned. They don't know about me. About us."

Jeff opened a drawer and started pulling out underwear and socks. He picked up his duffel bag and started throwing clothes into it.

"What are you doing?" Byron asked, looking panic-stricken.

"I'm going to leave." Jeff announced.

"No!" Byron started pulling the clothes back out of the duffel bag. Jeff smacked Byron's hand away and put the clothes back into the duffel bag.

"You haven't been home enough to even know how unhappy I've been," he accused Byron.

As he left he threw a letter to Byron. "Here, this is why I wanted to go out tonight. To celebrate."

Jeff stalked out the door. Byron opened the letter. Jeff's first novel had been accepted for publication. Tears came to Byron's eyes, knowing how hard Jeff had been working on it.

"Jeff!" he called running out the door after him. But it was too late. Jeff's car was gone.

**Alcohol**

_A/N: The boys are sixteen._

It was going to be a great party. The Pike parents were out of town for the whole weekend, taking Mallory to Washington DC to visit colleges. The parents, clearly not thinking properly, had decided the triplets could stay home by themselves for the weekend. The younger kids had been sent to friends' houses.

Naturally, a party was in order. And knowing that the Pike parents had ways of finding out wrong-doing, Adam, Jordan and Byron had decided to make this a party worth getting grounded forever over.

So that was how Byron came to be standing and swaying drunkenly in his backyard with Jeff. Jeff was just as unable to stand still.

"I love this night," Byron said closing his eyes and lifting his face toward the sky. "I love how the breeze feels on my face."

Jeff didn't say anything, and Byron opened his eyes and looked over at Jeff. Jeff was staring at Byron.

"What?" Byron giggled.

"You're flushed." Jeff said.

Byron felt himself blush even deeper. He nodded.

"It's kind of cute," Jeff said.

Byron didn't say anything, but his breath grew shallow. Jeff grabbed Byron by the elbow and pulled him into the boys' old tree house.

They sat on the floor, neither saying anything for the longest time, but both hoping that this is what they'd been waiting for, but fearing that the other one didn't reciprocate.

After several minutes of sitting and looking around, refusing to look at each other, Jeff finally spoke. "I really like you Byron." And he said it so matter of factly.

Byron nodded. "Me too."

Jeff smiled, "You really like yourself too?" he asked.

Byron leaned in, deciding, for once in his damn life, to be bold. "I like you too Jeff," he said up against Jeff's mouth.

Jeff pressed his lips firmly to Byron's. Their mouths opened, tongues touched and sparks flew. This party was _definitely_ worth getting grounded over.

**Call & Answer**

_A/N: takes place the day after Leave. _

8:00 a.m.

"This is Jeff Schafer. I can't answer your call, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

"Jeff. It's Byron. You weren't answering last night either. Please call me, I want to talk to you. I-" Click.

8:05 a.m.

"This is Jeff Schafer. I can't answer your call, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

"Jeff. It's me again. Sorry about that earlier call. I just can't....I can't _talk_ when I'm crying. Please call me. Please. I read the letter and I'm so proud of you. And I love you. And please come home."

10:00 a.m.

"This is Jeff Schafer. I can't answer your call, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

"Jeff, it's me again. Please don't ignore my calls. I love you."

11:05 a.m.

"This is Jeff Schafer. I can't answer your call, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

"Jeff. Don't be mad. I want to work this out. I know we can. Just call me. I want to talk OK? I'm going in to work, but I'll leave my cell on. So call me. Whenever."

12:20

Byron leaves his phone on his desk and goes to the bathroom.

12:21

"This is Byron Pike. I'm unable to answer my phone at this moment, but if you leave a message, I will return your call."

"Byron. It's me. I thought you were going to keep your cell on you at work. Typical."

12:25

"This is Jeff Schafer. I can't answer your call, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

"Fuck, Jeff. I just went to take a piss. Please call me back."

3:00

"Hello?"

"Byron?"

"Oh God, Jeff. Where are you?" Moments of silence. "No that's OK. You don't have to answer that. Are you going to come home."

"Maybe."

"Only maybe?"

"We need to talk. I'll be at home at 5:30."

"I'll be there...... Jeff, I love you."

"Just. 5:30, OK?"

"Yeah."

5:00

"Pike, where are you going?"

"Home, sir."

"Not yet. We have a meeting starting about the exhibits for next week's trial."

"I can't. I can't make it this evening. I'll catch up on it tomorrow morning."

"This is important, Pike!"

"So is this. I have to go," and Byron walks out the door.

**In the Car**

_A/N: The boys are seventeen, the summer before senior year. Jeff just got a new car. _

Their sweat-slicked bodies rubbed against the vinyl seat of Jeff's new car making a squeaking sound both boys found equally irritating and stimulating. Actually, the car wasn't new at all, but rather old. The best thing about very old cars, Jeff and Byron quickly discovered, was their large back seats.

It was nearing their one a.m. curfew, but Byron and Jeff weren't slowing down yet. They'd been making out in the car for nearly an hour. Now their clothes were shed, lips sore, the car windows steamed, and both had erections fit to burst.

Byron pushed Jeff down onto the seat as he squatted on the backseat floor. He took Jeff into his mouth. Jeff lasted less than a minute, coming into Byron's mouth, activating his over-sensitive gag reflex. As Jeff breathed deeply, Byron used a shirt (Jeff's not his own) to wipe the come dribbling down his chin.

Jeff pulled Byron onto the seat with him and they kissed some more. Byron lounged, back against the door, legs stretched out in front of him and Jeff moved to the backseat floor. He was sucking Byron off, when Jeff decided to surprise his boyfriend by sticking a finger in his hole. Byron gasped, but seemed to enjoy it as he ground his body both towards Jeff's mouth then finger. Byron also lasted only a minute before releasing into Jeff's mouth. Jeff swallowed expertly.

And at 1:05 a.m., the two boys lay side by side, uncomfortably, in the over-sized backseat, unconcerned about the almost certain grounding they'd get at home.

"I love this car," Byron said.

**Never is Enough**

_A/N: Takes place in the tree house, minutes after the events of Alcohol._

"God, how drunk _are_ you two?" Adam asked, his face horrified.

"Not really that drunk," Jeff admitted.

"What's going on?" Jordan's voice came up from the ladder. He peaked his head into the treehouse. "Why're we up here?"

Adam turned to Jordan, his eyes still wide with surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead he pointed to Byron and Jeff, sitting on the ground. Byron was biting his lip looking worried. Jeff looked amused.

"What?" Jordan asked.

"Those two," Adam whispered, "Were making out."

"With who?" Jordan asked, looking around as if expecting to see a half naked girl hiding somewhere.

"With _whom_" Jeff corrected.

"With each other," Adam explained.

Jordan didn't say anything for a second, before he started laughing. "Stop it. Let's go back to the party."

"I'm not kidding."

"He's not," Jeff said.

Jordan stood stock-still for a minute. "OK. You guys are drunk. You get a pass."

Jeff shook his head. "I'm not that drunk."

Everyone turned to Byron. He blushed crimson, but said, "I'm pretty drunk, but I knew exactly what I was doing."

"But you're not gay," Adam explained patiently to both boys.

"Yes I am," Jeff said.

"Me too," Byron said quickly. They looked at each other and smiled. It was the first time either boy had admitted it to someone else.

"How do you know? You've never kissed a girl."

"So?" Jeff challenged, "When have you ever kissed a guy?"

"Never!" Adam said.

"And never is enough!" Jordan said.

"So," Jeff continued, "You know you're straight. We know we're gay." He took Byron's hand and linked their fingers. Byron looked admiringly at Jeff and smiled.

"God," Jordan said.

"Are you OK with this" Byron asked his brothers.

They shrugged. "Whatever," Adam said. "We'll leave you two to whatever," and he turned and walked back down the ladder.

Byron and Jeff faintly heard Jordan say, "Jesus Christ. I never would have guessed," as he followed Adam down the ladder.

**Who Needs Sleep?**

_A/N: The boys are twenty-three. Just graduated college and moved into their first apartment together. _

Byron was unpacking boxes in the kitchen, keeping an ear out for the sound of Jeff getting back home from returning the U-Haul. He couldn't believe they were college graduates. He couldn't believe they were living on their own. He couldn't believe he was starting law school in a few short weeks.

He heard the key turn in the door (the location of their apartment was a bit questionable as this location was all they could afford on Byron's part time job at the law school and Jeff's job waiting tables). Byron jumped up and ran to the entryway. When Jeff walked in, he gave Byron a big smile, and said. "We're home."

Byron pushed Jeff hard against the door and kissed him with all the urgency he could muster. Jeff was happy to relent and kissed Byron back. He was getting turned on and began grinding his hips into Byron's, already able to feel the erection Byron was sporting.

"Living room," Byron said, and the boys ran into the living room, coupling and panting and breathing heavy on the floor, right where their couch would be whenever they got around to going to the thrift store to buy it.

Once they were finished, the boys sat at small kitchen table, naked, eating a makeshift late-dinner of plain buttered noodles and splitting a can of peaches. Grocery shopping was definitely in order. Byron lifted his foot underneath the table, and rested in between Jeff's legs, right at the crotch. Jeff gasped and sat up straight.

"Kitchen," Byron said. And so they initiated the kitchen. Not just the kitchen, _their_ kitchen. Filled with their food, their utensils, their plates, their pots and pan, and their spices. The sex was more urgent than it had been in the living room; a kitchen floor is not the most comfortable of places for such activities.

And when they were done, they lay on the floor, tired but happy. And hungry, so very hungry, that Jeff said, "Let's order a pizza." They ordered a pizza, (thank god that college towns have delivery past 11 p.m.) put clothes on for the delivery guy and continued unpacking.

The pizza came, and the boys ate it, in the bedroom, where the only cable hookup was in the apartment (why not in the living room? Part of the charm of a cheap, dreadful apartment). They watched TV and ate and talked and laughed. They were enjoying their bedroom.

Once the pizza was gone, they stayed in the bedroom to unpack. They were nearly done two hours later, when Jeff came across their collection of DVD porn, and popped one into the DVD player.

Naturally, once the movie started, _things_ started moving again and the boys found themselves on their brand new mattress (a bedframe hadn't yet been bought and sheets had not yet been put on), fucking like there was no tomorrow. It was raw and visceral and real and they both loved it.

And they were exhausted. They lay on the bed, wrapped in each others arms. Byron kissed Jeff's shoulder.

"You taste like sweat," he said.

"I probably smell like it too," Jeff answered sniffing his own armpit and making a face. "Where're the towels?"

"Packed away," Byron answered. "You get in the shower and I'll find one and bring it in to you."

Byron poked through several boxes before coming across the hand-me-down bath towels from his parents. He picked out two and took them into the bathroom. He pulled aside the shower curtain and stepped into the steaming shower with Jeff. For such a derelict apartment, it sure got great water pressure in the shower.

The boys took turns soaping each others backs and scrubbing with a wash cloth. Which naturally led to soaping of other body parts, which naturally led to their fourth erections of the day. So as the water poured down on them, Byron bent over and held onto the edge of the bathtub while Jeff stood behind making love to his first and only boyfriend with as much gentle care as he could muster, considering his ass and back were hitting the cold tile wall of the shower. This time it was much slower, much more romantic, though they did have to bring it to an abrupt end once the hot water ran out.

As they dried themselves off, Byron looked at his watch. "God. It's after three in the morning."

"Eh," Jeff said without concern. "Who needs sleep?"

**Told You So**

_A/N: The boys have just graduated high school._

"He is not."

"Oh yes he is. I think my gaydar is just better than yours," Jeff said.

"Don't be ridiculous. David Michael Thomas is not gay," Byron challenged.

"He so is. I swear it, and I intend to find out."

"What're you going to do? Hit on him?" Byron rolled his eyes.

"No," Jeff scratched his cheek. "I'll think of something."

Two days later, he had his opportunity. The Pike family was hosting a large party and each kid invited several friends. Nicky invited David Michael, Matt Braddock and Buddy Barrett.

Byron invited Jeff, and only Jeff.

Byron was annoyed that Jeff was skirting around the cluster consisting of David Michael, Matt Braddock, Buddy Barrett and Nicky all evening. He was butting in on their conversations and kept finding reasons to talk to David Michael. But when he started finding reasons to touch poor David Michael, is when Byron'd had enough.

"Jeff," he said, grabbing on to Jeff's elbow and pulling him away from David Michael, who was staring at the spot on his forearm that Jeff had just been caressing. "Leave him alone," he whispered.

"I swear, he's gay."

"Then fucking _ask_ him if he is!" Byron spat back.

"Oh!" Jeff said surprised he hadn't thought of that yet.

Jeff kept his eye on David Michael, and when David Michael stepped away from the group to use the restroom, Jeff followed.

Byron stayed right where he was, talking to Vanessa about some teachers at Stoneybrook High. After several minutes, Jeff appeared on the porch. "Byron!" he shouted. Byron looked up and Jeff beckoned him.

Byron followed Jeff into the house and down in to the rec room, where a terrified looking David Michael sat on the couch.

Jeff looked smug, "Told you so," he said to Byron.

**Some Fantastic**

_A/N - The boys are still living in their first apartment, mid-twenties. _

"Honey, I'm home!" Byron called out. It was after six o'clock and he'd had a long day at work.

Jeff laughed, and came walking to the entrance, greeting Byron with a kiss. "How was work?"

"Ugh," Byron said, loosening his tie. "Remind me why I wanted to be a lawyer again?"

"So you could support me until I write my first best-seller. Then we'll become millionaires and pay off your law school loans and travel the world."

"Hmm...sounds good." Byron sniffed. "That _smells_ good. Writer's block again?"

Jeff sighed, "I wrote like three pages today. All of them crap."

Byron hugged him, "I'm sure it was awesome." Jeff shrugged, and Byron continued, "Anyway, when you get writer's block, I get a good dinner."

"It's a surprise. Come on," he motioned Byron to follow him. "It's done already."

Byron was surprised to see that the meal was nothing more than baked sliced chicken over top of noodles and a cream sauce. Still he sat down and ate enthusiastically.

"What do you think of the chicken?" Jeff asked.

"It's great. I love how you seasoned it."

"It's tofu," Jeff said.

"What? Really?" Jeff nodded. "Well, that's some fantastic tofu then."

**When you Dream**

_A/N: The boys are elderly men._

Jeff has never told Byron that he talks in his sleep. And he talks so clearly that Jeff can practically tell what Byron is dreaming.

He never said anything because he loves to lie there, listening to Byron's one-way conversation and imagine the other end of the conversation. He adores hearing Byron say non-sensical things like "I'm scared of spiders too," or "he doesn't know how to drive to the mall." He loves to imagine the colors and the oddities that are going on in Byron's head. Knowing that dreams mean nothing, Jeff is not offended that his name never comes up, that he's not a factor in Byron's dreams.

One night, Jeff was awakened by the sound of Byron barking, "Mom!"

He was quiet again for a minute and as Jeff started to doze back off, Byron said in a quieter voice, "It's Jeff." Jeff abruptly woke up and started paying closer attention, going so far as to lean his head toward Byron's.

Various unintelligible mumblings ensued, which kind of annoyed Jeff. Until he heard, "It's Jeff," again. Jeff smiled, wondering what Byron was telling his mom about him.

"He's hurt. God. What am I going to do?" Byron started fidgeting, and Jeff thought he heard him start crying.

Jeff was momentarily panicked. Should he awaken Byron? He'd never known Byron to cry in his sleep. He'd never once thought that Byron's night time ramblings were ever anything bad or scary.

There was a noise coming from Byron and Jeff leaned in a little closer. Yes, he was definitely crying now. "I'll kill myself first, I swear," he mumbled.

This was too much, Jeff'd had enough.

"Byron," he whispered, giving him a little shove. Byron didn't wake up, so Jeff nudged him again, harder this time. "Byron," he said loudly.

Byron gave a little jerk, "Huh?" he asked sleepily.

"You were dreaming," Jeff whispered.

"Jeff?" Byron asked, sounding concerned, nearly panicked. "Are you here?"

"Always," Jeff answered, snuggling in closer.


End file.
